Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
