that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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