you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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