thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
