my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
As shirtless as possible
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
