Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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