Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
