do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
