ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
