im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
