So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
