It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
