Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
