it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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