Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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