Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
