he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
