Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
