remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
