did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
