so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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