dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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