I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
