I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
