forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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