boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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