why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
