then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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