Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
