new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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