Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
