She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
