working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
