I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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