I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
