At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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