if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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