I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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