So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
one might say we're banned from that church
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
