i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
