i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
