We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
