At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
