Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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