I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
