you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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