Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
