OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
