I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
