He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
