Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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